Dear Evy, Easter Sunday was an unexpected hard holiday. But during that day, I knew it was just a bad day. I knew I was being swallowed up by grief and doubts and questions but that tomorrow would be a new day and I could once again be on my journey through life. I’m glad when I can recognize my bad days and not be stuck in them. I can’t say I’ve ever felt God directly speaking to me, but I can say he uses so many people in my life to speak to me. He puts those people in my life to help me through my sorrow and my journey. A few days later I came across this quote:
Everybody has troubles, but not everybody has Jesus. Jesus makes the difference.
Could this not be more true? At church they have been talking a lot about the story of Peter and Jesus walking on water. Peter and the other disciples were out on a boat during a really bad storm. Jesus walked out on the water and called Peter out of the boat. Peter’s bravery and faith in God allowed him to walk out on the water to Jesus. But Peter lost sight of Jesus as the storm raged and became scared. He started to sink and called out to Jesus to save him. Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, “O man of little faith, why did you doubt?”
I feel so much like Peter. Most days I have so much faith and it keeps me going. But when I’m having a hard day or a “bad storm”, I start to question, have doubts and begin to sink. I have to call out to God to rescue me from my grief. Which brings me back to the quote I stumbled upon. Without Jesus, I would be sinking. I would be in a constant state of sinking. But I’m not. Jesus makes the difference.
I am so blessed to be surrounded by so much love from the people God has placed in my life. The cards, letters, church services, bible verses and quotes couldn’t be more amazing. It allows me to continue on my journey to live simply and be happy. I can remember you, Evelyn, with sweet thoughts instead of sadness. Oh happy day! Love you sweet girl!