Evelyn, It’s 4:35 AM and I can’t sleep. This is my first night since you passed that I haven’t been able to sleep. Your sister has been sleeping restlessly, therefore it is hard for me to sleep. I started watching TV so my mind never wondered to you until I was falling back asleep. Flashes of you in the hospital were surfacing. It’s heart wrenching. I try to focus on you when you were happy and healthy, but I feel I can only see you in the pictures that I took. Real memories seem to be escaping me. Is it because I have been looking at your pictures so much lately? Am I already forgetting real memories? It has only been three weeks but every image that I am picturing of you in my mind is from an actual picture I took. I want real moments. Moments that weren’t captured by the camera.
I’m hoping that I’m just too tired to search my thoughts that deep. Hopefully by morning live video of real memories will be streaming through my mind. That is all I have left. I don’t want to lose those too.
3 thoughts on “Dear Evy: Real Memories”
You will never forget her Beth. She will always be with you, touching your face and other sweet mannerisms only Evy can provide. Thank you for sharing such raw and painful feelings, try to get some sleep and enjoy some “real Evy” memories in the morning 🙂
You words wrench my heart. I cannot even imagine the pain you deal with on a daily basis. I applaud you for sharing your experience as I think it could help others. Your daughter was beautiful and loved and treasured. I don’t know why she was called home so early but her spirit is with you everyday. God will continue to hold her close and will release her back to you when you meet again.
Beth and Adam, my heart is heavy for you, and my prayers are daily that God’s comfort will take hold very soon. You ask what Evy will be. May I suggest that she already is an angel and is close to you every minute. She will look after you, and come to you in times of prayer and thought about her. She’s here and she’s also with Jesus in His special care. What could be better since she had to leave here. I hope the book I left with your Mother will help you with this. Don’t forget that God loves you all and Evy as well, and has a plan for you.